How do you handle the comments (compliments)?

Lady_J_2008
on 7/6/09 7:37 am
I am with you on this and if we're crazy then we just crazy.  It is overwhelming sometimes.  You get so focused on what you are trying to accomplish and taking the vitamins and watching the food intake and exercising that you forget that others see you differently now.  Sometimes... you just don't want to hear it.  Sometimes you just want to be treated like everyone else. 
MSW will not settle
on 7/6/09 9:16 am
I'm so vain that I've always relished compliments, and I wonder what I did wrong if I don't get any.  I just gush with the 'thank you's' and 'you are too kind' replies. 

Recently I had one odd experience where a friend of my daughter did not recognize me.  When he realized who I was he kept saying OMG you look different.  I responded I'm just a little older and he said, Yeah ! 

Well damn, I thought.  Am I ageing that poorly?  Apparently Black can crack and mine did !

Well it was hours later when I realized it was not that he thought I looked old.  It was the 90+ lb weight loss.  He was just being polite by not saying you were so much fatter when I was a kid.  He knew me at my highest throughout his childhood.  I was minimum 80 lbs heavier when we last saw each other. 

So it was a compliment after all.  I didn't think I looked so different, but I'm still eating it up.  You eat up them compliments too girl.  You've earned them. 

                   MSW   Roux-En-Y Gastric Bypass: Eat sensibly & enjoy moderation  

 Links:  Are you a compulsive eater?  for help OA meets on-line Keep Coming Back, One Day At a Time  Overeaters Anonymous 

               LV'N MY RNY.  WORKING FOR ME BECAUSE I WORK FOR IT. 

nikkemo
on 7/6/09 11:38 am - Orange, CA
The only comments that bother me is being called skinny.  I am far, far from skinny. I've never been skinny in my life.  It feels condescending to hear so it bothers me.
My family is too busy telling me my booty is disappearing and celebrating the time when I become flat chested with a flat ass, lol.  I guess because I see everyone regularly, the change isn't shocking anymore. 
You'll get used to it or learn to ignore it. 
Honeymoon challenge Participant.  It's about to be a hot summer

ATL Diva 2009
on 7/6/09 12:39 pm - Lawrenceville, GA
I still hear it almost 8 months after I lost the majority of my weight. I say thx and move on...Normally I'll say something cute or witty and that will be the end of it. The worst compliment I hear is "You seem to be a different person youa re SOOOO pretty NOW...I guess I can figure what they are trying to say but it still is uncomfortable and a lil offensive but although you may not be able to see it please realize you DO LOOk different and the weight loss is amazing...

At least they saying it to your face..if they weren't saying it as a compliment to your face they'd be insulting you behind your back!

HW 299/PS 286/CT 155 

 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
)

dee1967
on 7/6/09 10:48 pm

I can relate to the family "compliments" that come across as disingenuous.  Even though I hear the nice comments, I also hear the "Your neck is soooo long or where has your butt gone" comments as well.  I have decided that I'm going to live in positivity.  If I receive a compliment, I will say thank you and move on.  If I am asked a question about my weight-loss, I simply state that I had weight-loss surgery.  I don't comment further unless I am asked questions.  But by staying truthful, accepting compliments graciously and then moving on, I limit others opportunity to get under my skin.  I change the subject.  I realize that not everyone is happy to see the new me but that is their issue, not mine.  I loved the old me and I'm loving the new me even more!

So Blessed!
on 7/6/09 11:12 pm

 I can remember at one time I was so uncomfortable with getting so much attention that I actually considered asking a lady who I thought was pretty how did she handle it.  It's a process.  Over time it gets easier.  You are changing and people are noticing.  Once they get used to the new you, the comments will pretty much stop. 
Sabrenia8888
on 7/6/09 11:37 pm - Orlando, FL
I am taking all this in and it really gives a different perspective once you get smaller.  Thanks for sharing!
Ms. Exquisite
"Obstacles are what we see when we take our eyes off the goal"  
Rosettagrace
on 7/7/09 10:12 pm - MI
Good day to you and I am so glad I read your post this morning. I am EXACTLY where you are in both spirit and body. For the past 11 months I have been looking in the mirror and seeing the same me I have seen for all my life until just recently. I attended a BBQ for the holiday and my emotions were swinging like a crazy monkey. I was happy to see everyone but every comments went something like "I didn't even recognize you!". "You look beautiful!" and so on and so on. I realllly didn't think I was that bad in the beginning. Well, perception is something all WLS patients become more aware of after great amounts of weight are lost. How I see myself is difficult to change because the picture of me inside my head rarely changes, however, how others see me could change from day to day from things as simple as what you have on and different hairstyles. Simply put, you say thanks and keep it moving. Allow people to react how ever they wish and the comments that may take you aback, let them roll off like water off a ducks back. You have more important things to think about and consider. You, how you feel, your health and keeping steady on your path. We all have our own reasons for taking this step and whether or not the viewpoint of others on the outside is positive or negative the only opinion that really matters is your own. Sorry for the length of my statement but your inquiry so was very on point for me at this moment.
Rosettagrace
Lady_J_2008
on 7/8/09 9:37 am
Thank you so much for your comments... I think you summed it up nicely.  We just have to keep on stepping down our own path.
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